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  Five Ways For You To Have A Great Christmas 

The Christmas season brings new hope for all people, and is the season of goodwill to all mankind. Yet despite the good feeling associated with Christmas, the festive season can also bring its fair share of stress and marital disharmony. Demands on time and money, credit card debts, family politics and dynamics, office parties, work deadlines, and Christmas rituals and traditions, can add an intolerable amount of pressure on couples and families to the point that the message or special meaning of Christmas is lost.

Social service agencies report that the Christmas period brings with it a reported increase in domestic violence and marital disharmony. The many pressures, both financially and in terms of time, can often get too much for couples feeling the pressure to provide the perfect Christmas for families and partners.

So what are the options for couples out there dealing with the financial stress and expectations of the perfect Christmas?

The first thing they can do is consider how the stress you are feeling as a couple is adding to the spirit of Christmas. Would your children rather have the Playstation games and expensive gifts they have been craving, or the support and love of two parents that love each other? Sometimes we want to offer our children so much we lose sight of the fact that we make them miserable in our efforts to do it. Is dad coming home grumpy and stressed what Christmas is all about? Is domestic violence and alcohol abuse what you want your partner or children to remember about your Christmas this year?

Consider what is important to your partner or children, and how you can best achieve your goals while supporting the sanctity of your family. A couple of hours spent playing with your family, laughing and smiling and connecting with others may be more important than all the toys and presents on the market. Gift your partner or family your PRESENCE.

(Note from Tenderspirit:  Boy isn't the above statement the truth.  Sometimes we get so busy with our daily lives we forget to spend time with our loved ones.  One day you wake up and find your baby is now a young man, or lady.  We get so busy making a living and providing all the material needs for our family we forget about all the emotional needs of our children and spouse.  It is a hard balance to juggle. The gift of your time is the greatest gift you will ever give and the gift that will always give you the greatest return on your investment.)

The second thing I want you to do is spend some time making a list of the things that you are thankful for. Think of the things that make your family special, and things you can celebrate and be thankful for over the Christmas season. Every family has something special to celebrate, whether it is the health of your family, the special things you do together, the special rituals that bring you closer together, or special talents that you each have. Celebrate your uniqueness and positive qualities.

Number three on the list this season is to sit down as a couple and identify one social support agency that you can donate to this Christmas season. No matter how bad things are in your marriage, there are other families out there that have it worse than you. Donating to one social support agency through gifting money, food, toys, presents, or time, is a practical way of spreading goodwill and hope to others this Christmas season. Your actions may also inspire others around you to do the same. Celebrate your support of good causes.

Number four on the list is to call a friend or loved one that you haven't contacted in a while. Get in touch with someone that has fallen out of contact with you and spend some time reconnecting. Reconnecting with old friends and family members can help remind you of the importance of our connections and the associations we make with other people. The people around us tell us a lot about the values we have and the people we are. It is also timely that we maintain our friendships at Christmas and share the good feeling of Christmas. Celebrate your friendships!

Number five of the top five ways to save your Christmas is to reconnect with your partner. In good times and bad, our partners know more about us and care more about us than we care to think. Even when you think your partner really hates you or they really annoy you, the fact that they feel anything towards you is proof that they are invested in the relationship and that they care. The fact that you feel anything about it too, love or hate, is evidence that you still care too. So if you both still care, is Christmas a good time to let go of the hurt and talk to each other? Acknowledge each other's feelings. Validate one another in the relationship by listening. And find ways to love your partner. Yes, LOVE your partner.

My life-changing course can help you reconnect with your partner and put the bad days of your past well behind you. We outline concepts and major marital issues and back them up with exercises at the end of every chapter to help YOU apply the concepts and ideas to YOUR marriage.

The spirit of Christmas is in giving. Give your marriage another shot with a loving heart and Save My Marriage Today. It might be the beginning of new love in your marriage.

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Are The Two Of You Struggling to Share in the Spirit of Chrismas?

Through my Save My Marriage Today! course, my team and I counsel a variety of couples with their own unique marriage problems, and in the process we have helped many couples see where they were going wrong in their relationship and recommit to a lifetime together with love. In my e-book I discuss lots of marital issues, and back them up with exercises and dynamic ways to apply my marriage-changing concepts to your marriage. 

After talking and sharing ideas and experiences with so many in the field, I've discovered the secrets that can help YOU find the answer to your marriage problems and rebuild your marriage even after months and years of arguments, conflict and unhappiness. You can get these secrets for yourself by signing up today. You can download my marriage-saving package and be reading it within minutes! Visit my website and kick-start your marriage-saving mission today and turn over a new leaf in your relationship over the festive season!

Save My Marriage Today

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Yours in marriage success,

Andrew Rusbatch 

Save My Marriage Today

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The Save My Marriage Today course contains 4 explosive marriage saving e-books, as well as an exclusive collection of enlightening members articles.
Together, this dynamic and comprehensive Save My Marriage Today package gives couples in crisis ALL the tips and techniques that are proven to really save marriages. You can learn more about how to save your marriage at:

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FreedomsProcess:  Be Careful Where You Get Your Marriage Advice

By: Linda Davis

Nothing makes me more upset than hearing someone doling out advice that is not only counter productive, but also just ridiculous. I’m not an expert on marriage, far from it, but I know when I’m hearing good information, and when I’m hearing loads of useless drivel. Marriage advice is out there for anyone who needs it, but honestly, a lot of it is no good. Even the most qualified professional can give out bad marriage advice because they have their own agenda.

I have a friend who is pretty much at the end of her marriage. She’s very devoted to her religious roots, and has made what I would consider a Herculean effort to save her marriage. The trouble is that she’s been getting marriage advice and counseling from people for over four years, and nothing has helped. As she shares the marriage advice she has received with me, I find myself getting more upset the more I hear.

If you belong to a church, the first place you probably go to for marriage advice is your pastor or priest. While these people can be great sources for marriage advice and counseling, you have to consider the source. No matter what happens, unless someone is in danger, they will never tell you that perhaps the entire affair was a mistake to begin with. It is quite obvious to me that my friend is in a no win situation, but her pastor will not tell her this. Unless her life is threatened, the marriage advice he gives will urge her to remain.

I know, it sounds cold, but some people simply are not meant to be married. I also believe that life is too short to be strapped to someone who makes you bitterly unhappy. I can’t imagine for the life of me why God would want everyone to be so unhappy. That’s only my opinion, but I just can’t believe that to be true. As my friend shared her newly found marriage advice with me, I would just cringe. 

I guess my point is that you should take marriage advice and counseling from more than one source. If you don’t like what you are hearing, move on. This means, if you find someone who seems to think a wife should bow down and be miserable for the sake of her husband, you might want to consider this person is not seeing both sides. At the same time, if a woman counselor seems to be bitter towards men in general, you are going to see this in the marriage advice she gives. No matter how miserable you are, try to think clearly about what someone is saying to you. If it sounds stupid, it probably is. Move on, and find someone who works for both of you.

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