Self Esteem and Happiness

by Tenderspirit 

It is a known fact that a large percentage of the people have low self esteem.  It is important for your happiness to improve the way you look at yourself.  Many people seek the approval of other people to feel good about themselves.  I have learned that you can never please everyone and most of the time you cannot even please one person all the time.  So, there lies the dilemma.  What do you do?

You have to get to know the real you.  What are your values, morals, and standards for being a good person.  Then you have to be true to yourself.  I try very hard not to violate my own values, morals, or standards.  Once you sit down and write about what you believe is right and what you value the dilemma is solved.  Just live up to your own expectations of your own values and beliefs. I prefer to live by what has been called the golden rule, "Do onto others as you would have them to do onto you."  A very simple but profound concept.  

The way I use this is to stop and think before I take a particular action towards another person.  I ask myself, "Would you want so and so to do that to you?  Or would you want so and so to act that way to you, or respond in that manner?  If the answer is yes, then I feel comfortable doing so.  If the answer is no, then why would I want to do that to another person knowing I would not like it myself?  I try and keep it really simple.  

Because of the way I conduct myself during the day with myself and other people I have no problem looking in the mirror and liking who I see.  That is one of my greatest values in life.  I have to like the person in the mirror who is gazing back at me.  If you do not like yourself, it won't matter how many other people do,  you will not be happy.  Happiness comes from within.

I try to do something everyday that I feel is productive.  I set goals that need to be achieved long term, then shorter term, and then daily.  I sit down and write a list of to do's for the day.  I cross them off as I complete them.  The items I do not complete I move forward to the following day.  For my self esteem to be high I must feel that I am productive.  I do not think highly of myself if I lay around and waste my time doing nothing.  Time is the most valuable asset we have.  As I get older the more I realize just how quickly it passes and how little of it I have to spare.  I try to balance my productive time with time for myself as well as time with my family members.  Sometimes this too is a difficult plight.  I often find it is very difficult for me to find the middle of the road.  But, I am not too hard on myself if I go too far one way for a day, or week or so.  I just get back on track and head the opposite direction for a similar duration.  Life has too many challenges to beat myself up for going in a certain direction for a period of time.  I just simply notice then move on.